10 tips for those who can not let go of the past
Erase the painful memories, like Joel and Clementine, yet still can not, although scientists are working on it. Those who are stuck in the past, is one - to learn to let go. Heroine offers important tips to help you start a new life.
If the one who hurt you, can only offer my apologies - accept them. It is a pity that he has not built a time machine and went back to fix it, but let's be realistic.
Even if you never hear from the person words of regret, forgive him. This is not a weakness, but a way out of the situation like an adult and to heal itself.
2. Live the present
How to let go of the past? Live in the present. It sounds logical, but in fact it's a bit more complicated than it seems.
Learn to focus on the moment, to fill each day of the event, do not leave yourself time for soul-searching. To do this, the effort, especially if you are not very strong mindfulness. Life should not be a backdrop to your memories.
Sometimes we go back to the past because of the guilt. All that you can do - to express sincere repentance, but this is not enough. Say what had to say, and does not rotate his head in regret. This will help to forget about everything and move on.
4. Set Goals
Look to the future is much more productive than all the time to look around. Think about what you want and focus on achieving their goal. Even if it is a global dream - to create a family, build a career, see a lot of countries - you can do something for this today.
5. Recognizes the role that was
Take responsibility for everything that happened to you, and stop to look extreme.
Understand their role - does not mean to dump all the blame on himself. Take it how you were, even if it is unpleasant. Do not hide behind the phrase "I was forced to," "I was misled." Enough to be the plaything of circumstances. Resign yourself to the fact that has already been done, and to devote time to create a new self.
6. Go away from people who live only in the past
If someone is constantly talking about the time that you want to forget, it is necessary to say directly that it is unpleasant to you. Explain that do not need pity, reproaches, regrets and no longer want to discuss this topic. Those who do not understand, you can also leave in the past.
7. Drawing lessons
If we delve into the memories and past mistakes - do it to good use. Instead of rhetorical exclamations: "For what I do is" think, "What this has taught me."
One thing - to refer to the past, to make a decision in the present, the other - to wander aimlessly in it, wasting emotion on destructive behavior.
The lesson is in everything that happens to you. And it's the only thing useful memories.
8. Be patient
Trust the healing process. The fact that six months have passed, and you still suffer, does not mean that it does not work with you. Pointless to just sit and wait, all will be forgotten. Ask of the Internet: "How to start all over again" and complain friends. A new life is not put under the door with a note: "You deserved it." You have to go and do it myself: to develop, traveling, making new acquaintances and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
9. Give out thoughts and emotions
The past is still in your head, because you did not let him quit. Write down all the experiences on paper and burn. Gather everything that reminds us of what happened, and destroy than spectacular, the better. Arrange a ritual farewell to the past, to put an end to this endless internal dialogue.
10. Be grateful to
In order to realize the benefits of everything that happened to you, it takes time. Do not miss this moment, when it is time to realize that you become stronger, smarter, bid farewell to the illusions changed attitude towards life. Be grateful for what you have now and do not regret the fact that I lost.
That helps you to escape from unpleasant memories?