Why is it so difficult to make compliments to others
To tell the other person something nice, a lot of us at times more difficult than to express criticism. It seems that for a compliment need a good reason - a new dress, promotion, birthday. Say praise without any reason, and people decide that you need something from him. We understand why we are so afraid to pay compliments, even if they are sincere.
We are afraid to show their shortcomings
Expressing praise, we celebrate someone's a positive quality or achievement. There is nothing wrong. But some say a compliment - to recognize that someone has something that is not enough to you, and to show their inferiority.
The words "I admire your ability to" such a person hears no desire to support companion, and regret that he does not possess this skill.
Should not be taken to compliments as a way to complain about life, or trying to self-deprecation. I think someone is good - do not be shy to say it, but talk about a person, and not about himself.
We believe that this is not necessary
There is a type of people who say they do not like to hear compliments. As a rule, they are not able to accept them: begin to object or ask the interlocutor to stop. In addition, they rarely believe that praise is sincere, and constantly seeking to catch it - irony or commercialism. It is logical that such a person, and he never says compliments. Once it nice words from other people seem suspicious, others are praising the same way - he said.
to fear that we will misunderstand
The compliments we often seen as something ambiguous. Partly because Russian culture is not accepted in principle be very open and friendly with strangers.
Another reason - the people really use praise in romantic purposes: when they want to get people's attention and show their special attitude towards it.
Because of this contradictory perception compliments many prefer not to pronounce them, to avoid falling into an awkward position. Familiar guy might think you were flirting with him, boss - that Carney.
Compliments make us vulnerable
Praise a friend or someone from the family is not difficult, but when it comes to unfamiliar people, many of us prefer not to risk it. Thoughts: "suddenly a compliment from my side would look odd," "if (s) he decides that I need something," "it may offend someone" forced to think twice before approaching someone with a pleasant words. We avoid compliments, because there is always a chance that even the most sincere praise is poorly received by the recipient.
to underestimate their role in building relations with other people
All the reasons that we have given in the preceding paragraphs would not be as strong, if each of us understand how important it compliments in human communication.
The ability to find positive qualities in other people and to talk openly about them - a sign of empathy. The ability to correctly recognize someone's superiority shows your adequacy and maturity, not a weakness.
A sincere compliment boosts self-esteem of man, and you, in turn, get positive emotions from its appreciation. Pleasant remark - an instant way to create a friendly atmosphere of trust between you.
Learn to make and receive compliments - it's a good skill for your personal growth.
Do you often make people feel that compliments and at the same time?