Differences of love addiction
The difference is huge, but this is not always easy to understand.
Falling in love excites and overwhelms us, it is one of the most beautiful feelings in a person's life. However, sometimes we can become dependent on the desire to be loved, which often leads to false love, based on the passion and obsession.
The thing is that the line between love and emotional dependency is very blurred, it is easy to go and join in an unhealthy relationship, when the behavior of one person ceases to meet the other person's wishes. Falling in love can grow from two inner states of man - a loving adult or a wounded soul.
are you in what state?
When you fall in love with a wounded soul, which consists entirely of the ego, the case is not in the person you love, and how much he loves you. As if you pass the responsibility for their self-esteem and well-being of another person. If the other person is working on a well meet your needs, you may be in love is not really in it.
At the moment when you realize that you can not live without the other person's emotional dependency begins. "Lovers" part of you, in fact, as a child or teenager. You need love, because they themselves do not like themselves or others. Perhaps you are taking responsibility for self-esteem, you feel so empty inside, and you want it to someone filled. You tie your own value with the love of your partner and why you feel you can not live without this person. When you fall in love with love adult, your need for relationship is quite different. As an adult you already know how to fill yourself with love and know its value. I need someone who will fill the void and make you feel loved and worthy, and so you feel full of love. You know how to take responsibility for their feelings and desires, and fill yourself with love from its own internal sources.
And this is the love you want to share with another person, other adults in love, and filled with love. You are more inclined to share their love than to receive love.
Whom we choose to
The people we choose, often have the same level of vulnerability and emotional power. The more you work on healing, the more you learn to love to care for themselves, making themselves more attractive to those engaged in the same.
If you choose a man based on his wounded self, you tighten someone who you think you want to fill your inner emptiness. The problem may be that the other person is trying to fill your emptiness, hoping that you fill it. As a result, we have two people who want to receive love, and not to give up, and eventually, they will be disappointed in each other. They will blame each other that they do not like the way they are waiting for that. When a relationship ends, in most cases it is due to the fact that one or both partners do not take responsibility for their own feelings and blame others is that as a result they are unhappy.
If you're in trouble so that you feel the impossibility of living without a man, you seriously need to learn to give yourself and others the same thing that you want to receive from the other person. You have to work hard to become the kind of person, what you want to see next to him. Is not it great to be really in love, and not addicted? You will be able to love another person for what he is - he is, and not just a need that this man can do for you.
Why emotional dependence - poison
All relationships, generating emotional dependence make both partners unhappy. Emotionally dependent person always wants more. He or she is in the majority of cases are dissatisfied with and live with a growing sense of anxiety generated by the fear of loss. At the same time the second person, more and more feeling that can not cope, can not develop on its own and drawn into a relationship, which can not give him anything. As a result, sooner or later, such a relationship ends.
Fortunately there is a good point. If both can realize the state of things, they can change the situation and to direct all this energy in the right direction, leading to a more mature love, allowing both to become more emotionally healthy.
Mature love is durable, dependence fleeting
Emotional dependency is based on the feeling of emptiness that must be filled at least someone. In fact, many emotionally dependent people quickly jump from one relationship to another, because they are not interested in the man himself, and it can drown out a their emotional hunger. Such people can not live alone and look for themselves in the satellites are not your soul mate, but just someone who will fill the void.
But mature love can withstand difficult times, evolving and growing over the years to even stronger relationships. This does not mean that there will be disagreements and disputes, but each of the partners will grow side by side, each day deciding to stay together, not because they need each other, but because they love.